Yesterday at church the question was raised as to what makes you feel discouraged? The most unanimous answer seemed to be a huge feeling of discouragement when we compare ourselves to each other. One woman pointed out that we live in a world where only the highlights of our lives are publicized over blogs, Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter making it seem as if everyone else lives these rock star lives. How do you NOT compare the reality of your own life to fantasy lives you see in the social media?
I really love this discussion because I too have fallen in to the trap of feeling like I just can’t measure up. Comparison is a really dangerous game to play. It’s one of the fastest road to depression and disappointment. A while back, I got to a point of feeling envious and jealous when I used to look at other people’s projects on the internet. My intention of surfing blogs and Pinterest was to gain inspiration but instead I had this icky feeling that I didn’t like. I was playing the comparison game and I soon realized that no matter what I did I would NEVER measure up and I needed to let that feeling go or it would eat me alive. Everyone’s paths and priorities are different and I need to focus on what I want to do, what I need to do and what I am capable of doing given my own circumstances.
As a blogger, I hope I haven’t contributed to the false fantasy of living some perfect life. Oh, no…far from it. There are some days where I don’t get a shower because I’m running left, right up and down caring for four men, a job and a house. No one wants to share their weeknesses, only the highlights. Once in a while I catch myself dreaming about how it will be when all my men are in school and I can tinker all day on projects…my one day will come but for now I’m a full time momma, changing diapers, wiping noses and focusing on enjoying the journey. I’m learning how quickly each stage passes and how much I already miss those seasons that have already passed.
In case you don’t believe me…just take a look at my master bedroom that I’ve been trying to work on decorating ever since we moved in…1 year ago.
My main excuse is time. My secondary excuses…we’re also trying to work on renovating our basement. As a result, the upstairs bedrooms have become the storage places for everything that was once in the basement.
Renovating the basement is moving much slower than anticipated (just as any project does) so I’ve decided it’s time to tackle my bedroom.
So just in case you were feeling like playing the comparison game…you came to the right place today!
Thanks to Jenn Culley for taking these before pictures for me.
Hey there! I’m Michelle; I’m an Passionate DIY’er and in constant pursuit of how to bring beauty to my house full of men (3 boys + 1 hubby). Stick around and see what I’ve got up my hard-working sleaves!
Hi, Michelle!!
I am new in the blogging world, and I guess I am new and kinda alone in my country’s interior + diy blog world, Romania. So I can only find inspiration in you, guys, whether you’re in the USA or Canada. And of course, you’re awesome inspirational girls. All the projects you do are so great that I find myself wanting to leave your lives, or at least, live in your countries.. Stuff here isn’t as diversified as over there and when I see you telling us how easy you did something using a tool I can’t find here, well, I get bummed…. I am aware we’re only human, all of us, but such a blog post is welcomed, to keep us grounded… I am a mom also, I stay at home with my little one, so I understand the amount of work children require, and I only have two… I sometimes have a house full of laundry and no time to tackle them cause the girls are down with a cold, let alone a project for the blog…
P.S. I like the bedroom, it only needs a little TLC..
Ozana
Thanks Ozana, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have my trusty home improvement stores to help me with projects. Thanks for your comment…off to give me bdrm some major TLC!
Hi Michelle! Great post!!! I’ve been a follower for about a year now. I Love your style! I love seeing your projects and your DIY attitude:). You’ve inspired me to tackle “hard things” and bring out my own creativity. But most of all, I love how you come through as a REAL person. You touch on everyday things that as a mom of two boys I can relate too and laugh at. Your honesty is refreshing! Your life looks beautiful from my view. Thank you for this post truly, it was inspiring.
Lindsee
Hi MIchelle
I cant believe a year has gone by since you moved in!
Di.
Time flies when you’re having fun!
Thank you so much for the reminder! I’ve got 2 very active toddlers and am doing a whole-house DIY renovation. Our bedroom is 1 part bedroom, 1 part playroom, 3 parts living room, and 2 parts dining room. And 100% chaos. But we’re pushing through. It does crack me up that you had a photographer take your “before” photos. Your style is a bit more contemporary/modern than mine, but you do it well. I can’t wait to see the afters! Even if it takes another year.
Ha! Ha! That does sound funny. My photog was here taking pics of another project so I had her snap a quick pic of my rooms with her fancy camera.
Thanks for keeping it real. You are so right about playing the comparison game.
Word. 🙂
Michelle, I am right there with you. I pray we both see the little things that drive us nuts (messes, dirty dishes, laundry) as blessings of being a mama today 🙂 I so struggle with this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Awww, thanks Emily. That means a lot coming from you. I don’t know how you do it with twins! Mama’s of multiples are my heros!
lock washer, flat washer and a nut to keep that hardware nice n tight!
I haven’t picked a rug out in 3 years b/c I keep comparing my house to all these perfectly put together places.. I need to just take a plunge and if it doesn’t work, sell it (really, I want to get rid of our couch but the need is for sure in other places)
Amen sistah!
Wow, Michelle! You said this perfectly, it was a great reminder for me! But just in case you’re wondering I totally think YOU rock! You are a fantastic inspiration of a real working momma!
You made my day! Thanks Brooke!
Guilty! I’m a natural worrier, with anxiety issues. I disguise it well, but internalize all of it. I have 4 boys, so keeping up with housework and coming up with projects is challenging. Honestly sometimes I will work myself into a stomach ache because the vision I have for a room isn’t clicking. I know, stupid. Thanks for reminding us blog and isn’t everything it may seem 🙂
Been there, done that…still do it. We need to hang a sign up to remind us! Thanks for your comment!
Perfect post timing! Just yesterday I had gotten myself down about my house because I couldn’t think of any projects to work on and the ones that were in-progress were giving me a headache. I don’t know how you do it with 4 boys! Even your unfinished bedroom looks better than some of the rooms in my house haha Keep up the good work, regardless of how slow it’s going 🙂
I’m so glad we have a platform to support one another amidst life’s choas! Thanks Caitlin…hang in there, we’ll both get there…eventually!
I fall into that trap too sometimes. Pinterest, blogs – it does become all too easy to believe that nobody deals with the everyday mess, chaos, and time crunches that you do. Then I look at my still unfinished basement (going on month 10!) and pile of DIY projects and remind myself that those things are still on my To Do list because instead I was doing a craft with my daughter, or went out for a walk with my family. I know you’re doing the same and your boys are richer for it. Thanks for sharing your reality. And getting professional photos of your Before… SO awesome 😉
Thank you for your post. I am not a blogger but often joke that if I had one it would be called “Half-As#ed” because that is what I feel like most of the time. I work part-time so I have 1/2 a career. I am not a SAH mom so 1/2 a mom and don’t do as much for my faith as I would like so I’m a 1/2 Christian, etc., etc. We all put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect in an imperfect world. Thank for helping all appreciate what is important and keeping our sanity with a laugh.
That seriously made me LOL! That is my mom’s favorite phrase…thanks for the laugh!
How could you need a new bed, yours is gorgeous!
Won’t be getting rid of it just switching it up. Kind of like an outfit. Need to switch things around every once in a while!
I love your style! If you feel inadequate, there’s no hope for a wannabe like me! I have lived a good portion of my life wanting to be like everybody else I knew instead of being the best me. As a recovering wannabe, I came across a quote recently that resonates with me and is a good reminder to stop comparing and start enjoying. The quote is: “Comparision is the thief of joy.” I don’t know the source. Thanks for sharing your gifts and talents!
Cheers from New Zealand!
Kia Ora MaryAnn! That quote is so right on! I need to frame it and stick it on my wall. Thanks for passing it on!
Hi Michelle!
You are not perfect, I am not , but you inspire me! Thank you for that 🙂
Blogs of decoration make me dream, give me tips, your is funny to with your beautiful boys…
Guylaine
You’re so sweet, thanks Guylaine!
Still love your room! I’m all for keeping it real, so thank you!
Thanks Maryanne!
Ya know I haven’t been on your blog in a while and of course when I restumble upon it I coming across a post that I was just talking to my husband about last night. Though with me it’s the whole realm of pregnancy and parenting. In the blogging community it’s almost an expectation to document everything and I almost feel like a failure as a pregnant woman/mom to be for not having a chalkboard done up, a picture documenting the growth of my bump and all my symptoms written down each week. I don’t have a carefully crafted, themed, or color coordinated nursery nursery ready since 20 weeks, heck I’m pretty sure the baby will be sleeping with us for the first few months anyhow. We are in our mid-twenties and are still renting, whereas I follow couples who have renovated not one, but 2 house at our age. It’s hard NOT to feel like a failure! I just need to realize that we are doing the best that we can with what we have and to just be patient and not so hard on myself. In reality, no one is expecting us to be picture perfect 100% of the time and that’s ok.
Jessica, loved your comment. You’re so right about the “expectations”. BTW, don’t worry too much about the nursery. I spent so much time putting together a gorgeous nursery that my baby never saw becuase he ended up in our room. The next two babies I didn’t even bother. Congratulations on your pregnancy and thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!
Thank you for your post. I love to read design and dyi blogs. Based upon what I see and read it’s easy to forget that the homes we are reading about are REAL HOMES and not model homes where everything is perfect all of the time. Thank you for keeping it real. 🙂
I don’t want to portray perfection which a lot of blogs can do at times. Thanks for your comment!
WOW what a timely post!! I made up my mind last month to just stop it with all the “comparing” and the “perfection” issues.
It really had me at a stand still when it came to buying anything or decorating in general around here. Thanks for this post it is such a confirmation that we all need to be ourselves even if it means mistakes are made along the way design wise or any other choices. Awesome post Michelle!!!
Thanks for your kind words! You’re so right…we women can be so hard on ourselves. It’s time to start celebrating what we are doing instead of what we aren’t.
what a great post … i think sometimes we forget to share all the murky, messy things that actually contribute to this life and make us real people. if we all had perfect lives and perfect relationships, we wouldn’t be real, we wouldn’t be interesting! its hard to share those intimate, messy details of your life – even if it’s a messy house or things you think you’re slacking on. but it all makes you REAL and real is great!
I too have been following your blog for a year or so and have enjoyed seeing you transform different areas or items in your two homes. I too am a SAH mom with two girls. I am a very visual person (art background) and clutter and unfinished projects drive me crazy, but I can’t seem to get the upper hand on either issue. Case in point, I started a makeover our bedroom 2+ years ago. Selecting the new bed linens and painting the walls went well, but it took my husband and I a full year to complete a stained, wood trim, upholstered headboard. I had someone custom build me a beautiful maple table that I plan on using as a “dressing table”. He didn’t have time to finish it so I thought no problem, I can do that, it’s not very big. To this day it is still sitting in my basement waiting to be finished. As for the wall decor, I just now managed to get one of my photographs printed, framed, and hung up. We started to build an upholstered storage bench for the bottom of our bed, but sadly that too sits in the basement waiting for me to get back to it. As for the starburst mirror project that I would like to go above our headboard, alas various materials for that are scattered about the house. By the time I get this make over finished it wil be time to start all over again! So thank you to you, and everyone else that has posted for sharing your stories. It always helps to know that you are not the only one who is struggling to make their home the wonder refuge that they envision.
Thanks so much Tracey! 🙂
Your post made me think of this article about imperfectionism: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2013/03/11/imperfectionism-why-the-cult-of-jennifer-lawrence-matters/. I’m a chronic perfectionist and it’s reassuring to know our lives don’t have to be picture perfect all the time. Thanks for the reminder!
You’re welcome and THANK YOU! 🙂
Hi, Michelle – I’ve just found you, via Best of DIY and I just wanted to thank you for this honest post. It was just what I needed, today. (((hugs)))
Thanks Christa!